Being Kinky: Intimacy, Ethics, and the Self

Abstract

Kink has a long history of being condemned in Western society. Even though kink is prevalent in popular culture (and in many people’s bedrooms) it continues to be considered abnormal and associated with deviance. Through nine in-depth qualitative interviews, this thesis explores the experiences of kinksters with kink, their engagement with the kink community, and their negotiations of stigma in everyday life. These experiences are analyzed using Foucault’s theories on discourse and technologies of the self and Goffman’s conceptualization of stigma. The thesis found that while the social condemnation of kink has resulted in members of the kink community struggling to manage their identity as kinksters, they also find joy and a sense of belonging within the kink community. Moreover, through the kink community, kinksters learn to conceptualize and practice consent in a new way; one that is rooted in being an ethical subject. The thesis concludes with a call to challenge the normative tropes and stigmatic assumptions of deviance that continue to marginalize and oppress kinksters.