"Victim and Vector": The Affective Life of People with HIV Through the Epidemic Eras

Abstract

This dissertation explores the criminalization of HIV nondisclosure through the lens of the sociology of health and illness, critical victimology, affect theory, and narrative theory. It situates participants' stories within different historical periods - ranging from the HIV/AIDS crisis era (1981-1995), through the era of treatment and HIV normalization (1996-present) - to demonstrate how these epochs shape the affective life of people living with HIV (PLWH) as they make sense of their diagnosis, disclosure and nondisclosure, and their sense of self in the present. Drawing on the works of Margaret Wetherell, Sara Ahmed, Ann Cvetkovich, Arthur Frank, and Paul Ricoeur it develops the concept of the affective narrative self to understand how individuals construct and make sense of their identities through the interplay of emotions and storytelling. The dissertation explores how the affective narratives of HIV are historically contingent, such that how people feel and narrate their experiences of living with HIV and their sense of self is shaped by the dominant cultural and medical logics of their time. Methodologically, it employs a feminist affective epistemology (Hemmings, 2012) and a theoretical narrative analysis (Riessman, 2008) to analyze semi-structured interviews with 44 participants - 43 PLWH and one HIV-negative person whose partner did not disclose their serostatus prior to sex - as well as lifeline drawings that visually depict their experiences.

There are three substantive analysis chapters which discuss the findings of this study. The analysis reveals that HIV nondisclosure is experienced through competing affective narratives of victimhood. While some participants described nondisclosure as a betrayal that elicited anger and sometimes a desire for legal recognition, others resisted the victim label, citing personal responsibility for sexual health. PLWH articulated their experiences of diagnosis through different registers of grief and as a form of biographical disruption, marked by narratives of the loss of one's sense of self, the loss of one's healthy body, the death of friends and family, and social death. The study further identifies the undetectable self as an affective narrative self, wherein undetectability functions as both an empowering and disciplining force. Ultimately, this research challenges punitive approaches to HIV nondisclosure and advocates for transformative justice frameworks that move beyond legal retribution to address the structural inequalities shaping PLWH's lives.