Fedchun, Kathryn2020-09-102020-09-102020-09-10http://hdl.handle.net/10393/40968http://dx.doi.org/10.20381/ruor-25194League of Legends is one of the most popular video games in the world, and yet it is also infamously known as being filled with harassment and failure. Why do I continue to play? In this project, a critical autoethnography is used to illustrate what it is like to play in this male-dominated space as a woman. Using feminist and queer game studies as my theoretical framework, this project investigates three distinct, but interconnected concepts: hegemonic masculinity, weaponized failure, and subversive play. In chapter one, I use Raewyn Connell’s theory of hegemonic masculinity to analyze League of Legends. I argue that gameplay elements such as champion selection, communication, and role-play make it difficult to challenge hegemonic masculinity in League of Legends. However, I do acknowledge that it is possible to challenge through playing the role of support properly – by concentrating on teamwork and sacrifice. In chapter two, I use queer video game studies, including key texts by Bonnie Ruberg and Jesper Juul, to consider failure in League of Legends. While queer failure can be fun in single-player video games, I argue that failure in League of Legends can be used as a weapon to intentionally hurt your teammates. Finally, in chapter three I consider my own subversive playstyle. While some academics have argued that woman who play masculine video games using male-coded skills cannot challenge the patriarchy, I argue that embracing my femininity in League of Legends allows me to persevere and push against the patriarchy. I argue that my feminine visibility in the form of my gamertag, SJW Queen, my communication style that emphasizes positivity and mediation, and how I play League of Legends are all examples of subversive gameplay. I bring my femininity into League of Legends uncompromised and I embrace it, rather than try to escape from it.enGame StudiesQueer TheoryHegemonic MasculinitySubversive PlayVideo GamesFeminist TheoryQueer FailureLeague of LegendsAutoethnographyThesis